I met her outside Fresno all hunched over;
I can still recall the boxer shorts she wore;
She was breakin' out with acne with Miss Piggy,
and I knew what strong deodorants were for;
She asked me if I'd pick my nose forever;
She said to me she loved my one blue eye;
But who'd have thought she'd freak out at her health club;
She told her fat friend Grace to say goodbye.